My Recent Work

The only life coaches I’d hire are long dead or too busy

I’ve never considered hiring a life coach, but if I did, they wouldn’t be hard to find. It seems you can’t swing a cat without hitting one these days. They’re everywhere, jacked up on positivity and self-love, pimping out their programs. Friends and acquaintances pop out of the woodwork to ask if I’m realising my dreams or want to be part of an “inspiring program” before they even type the words “life coach”. There’s something evangelical about it, which I have the radar for after being raised i

'No one wants to look like a tighta** over $7.50'

Then, the server rang up the total amount.

“I’m sorry. How much are the babycinos?” I said, trying to remain calm.

I wanted to ask, “How much are marshmallows these days!?” But I bit my tongue.

I could feel myself transforming into an elderly grump who lectures teenagers in cafes: Back in my day, babycinos were free! We literally used the leftover milk from a coffee!

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: Is my pregnant wife trolling

What I learnt from watching the Ashley Madison doco with my husband

I’m watching the new Ashley Madison documentary on Netflix with my husband (who was not on the list). We hadn’t yet met when the infamous list of aspiring adulterers was released in 2015, but I remember feeling the weird guilt you feel when a police car is driving behind you, even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Did I sign up to an adultery website and forget about it? No, I didn’t. And as the documentary uncovered, neither did many other women. The “service” was full of fake female profiles w

There’s a word for this new snowflake version of Scrabble. Do I need to spell it out?

I get it – you’re a Scrabble purist horrified by Mattel’s “unforgivable” update of the game. They’ve released a “dumbed-down” version in which players work collaboratively on a series of challenges rather than compete against each other. “We want to ensure the game continues to be inclusive for all players,” Mattel vice-president Ray Adler said. You’re triggered and must voice your outrage because Scrabble is no mere game; it’s an institution! And institutions must be protected. (Except any that

I wasn't an alcoholic, but this is how I stopped relying on 'Mummy wine time'

There’s nothing like moving to music with zero self-consciousness. Maybe I’ll swing my arms around my head. Great idea! What if I try break dancing? No worries!

Cut to the present day, where I spend most of the time feeling like I’m failing as a parent, with, until recently, zero free dancing. Instead, I focused on my mum-guilt. I wasn’t present enough. I wasn’t firm enough. I was too firm. My toddler had a meltdown at the shops, and everyone was watching.

Then, so often, 5 pm rolled around, a

What “Prosper” can teach us about Hillsong, hypocrisy, and the danger of becoming too big

There is a scene in the Stan Original series Prosper — a show that means to give a fictionalised treatment of the growth and travails of Hillsong Church — which reflects a conspicuous aspect of the megachurch’s approach to charity. The charismatic pastor, Cal Quinn (played by Richard Roxburgh, and modelled after Hillsong founder Brian Houston), is trying to convince his son Jed (Jacob Collins-Levy), who has turned his back on the church and now runs an inner-city homeless shelter, to join the ch

I’m teaching my child not to have a best friend

It’s crazy how quickly your child powers through noteworthy stages. In utero, they grow from a grain of rice to a grape, to a rockmelon. Then they’re born, and before you know it, they’re rolling, crawling, running, learning your real name isn’t Mum. Suddenly, they’re four years old and entering the “best friends” stage. Do close friendships carry too many pitfalls? I wasn’t prepared for this. There’s no manual or app with cute animations explaining how to support your child as they start stompi

A new book about Bridget Jones, but not that Bridget Jones

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is no greater love than that of a romance writer for their genre, which is especially true in the case of The Other Bridget by Rachael Johns, one of Australia’s most productive novelists. In Rachael Johns’ latest romance her main character, Bridget Jones, has a woeful love life. Johns’ other specialty is rural romance. You know the picture: shirtless muscular men in Akubras and R.M. Williams boots on the covers, so there is a lot of preaching fro

Sorry Frozen, but it’s time children let it go once and for all

Dear Frozen, happy 10th anniversary. Disney, can we have something new now? The time has come to let it go. I know I’m treading on thin ice here, weighing in on a film for which I’m not the target audience, but let me explain. As we arrive at this anniversary, I find myself reflecting on the phenomenon that this Disney film has become over the past decade. When it first blasted onto the scene in 2013, I was in my 20s: footloose and fancy-free, only vaguely aware of the tidal wave-sized obsession

I demand my kids hug their grandparents. Am I a bad mother?

Though it’s an increasingly controversial stance among those who subscribe to the gentle parenting movement, I make my children hug their grandparents. To some, enforcing my two young kids these kinds of rules is considered to be on par with sending them to Neverland Ranch for a sleepover. Our “child-focused” culture in which “the ethos is that we should be hyper involved, hyper present, hyper emotional and hyper organised” is, says clinical psychologist Dani Klein, leaving many parents overwhel

After 14 years, I left the disability sector. Money alone can’t fix its problems

A few months ago, I left the disability support industry that I had worked in for 14 years behind. Despite finding the work hugely rewarding, supporting a young family on the industry’s wages was becoming harder, so I made the difficult decision to leave.

Among the 222 recommendations the disability royal commission handed down last week was the need to strengthen the workforce within disability services, which have reached what the commission said were “crisis levels”. Along with the NDIS frag

Forget a female David Brent – give women original characters

I am all for the matriarchy. In the words of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt theme song: “Females are strong as hell.”

When done well, a female-led TV show or film can do justice to the complexities and diversities of women’s stories. But when it comes to gender-flipped reboots, like Australia’s upcoming take on The Office starring Felicity Ward as our very own David Brent meets Michael Scott, there needs to be a truly good reason for them.

The gender-flipped reboot is not a recent phenomenon, d

The ‘recovering teacher’ who’s written a portrait of small-town teacher life

“There is no doubt fiction makes a better job of the truth,” Doris Lessing famously said, and Gabbie Stroud’s move into fiction with Things That Matter Most is a testament to this. Stroud, who calls herself a “recovering teacher”, has written much on the ongoing teacher shortage, including her brilliant 2018 memoir, Teacher, and the 2020 follow-up, Dear Parents. Her 2016 essay, Teaching Australia in Griffith Review was shortlisted for a Walkley Award, making her one of the leading voices calling

It’s great that your child loves Spider-Man and Elsa, but they have no place at Book Week

It’s that time of the year when two words strike fear into the hearts of parents who couldn’t papier-mache a boat to save their lives: Book Week.

Last year, during a frenzied costume rush, I found myself embroiled in a debate with my three-year-old about why an Elsa (from Frozen) dress wasn’t appropriate for Book Week. “Look at this!” I said, holding a Snugglepot and Cuddlepie print dress. She looked at me with the kind of ridicule only a three-year-old can muster, and I had flashbacks of my mo

Life is dark and absurd. No wonder kids shows celebrating this are winning awards

My toddlers adore Teletubbies. As soon as the show’s baby-faced sun-God rises in the sky, they go off like a frog in a sock.

The Teletubbies plod on-stage with their dead eyes, weird noises, and anthropomorphic vacuum cleaner, and I silently categorise the various controversies surrounding them over the years: A televangelist’s accusation of Tinky-Winky’s latent homosexuality, which led to him (Tinky-Winky, not the televangelist) becoming a gay icon; the infamous lion and bear scene which clawe

Non-alcoholic booze is the dumbest invention since the appendix

Of all the pointless things to ever be invented (blankets with sleeves, umbrella shoes, appendixes), the most pointless surely has to be alcohol-free booze. You could be forgiven for thinking you’d stumbled into a bottle-o in the soft drink aisle of your local supermarket, with alcohol brands like Carlton, Wolf Blass, Peroni, Heineken and James Squire all pumping out versions of non-alcoholic beverages to meet growing demand for products that look, taste and smell like alcohol while not actually
Load More