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The Sydney Morning Herald •

At school, they advised me to become a vet. They were so wrong

In year 12, my exasperated careers adviser tried to cobble together ideas for me based on my stated interest, “animals” (because “the Mars vending machine” and “Orlando Bloom” were apparently unhelpful). He suggested I could be a vet.After a dismal work placement emptying bloodied syringes and cleaning up dog poo at a veterinarian clinic, I realised my interest in animals was limited to cat memes and the occasional puppy.A dismal work placement at a veterinarian clinic convinced me that I would...
kidspot •

'I'm a Halloween Prude. Stop scaring my little kids'

Australia has thoroughly embraced Halloween, and there’s no putting that genie back in the bottle.Sure, it’s good for kids to experience fear; it’s fun! Grimm’s Fairy Tales were full of dismemberment and eating of internal organs with all kinds of moral warnings for children, like, ‘Don’t trust the snarling wolf that just ate your grandmother.’These are important life lessons.Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.RELATED: ‘Karen masks for Halloween...
The Sydney Morning Herald •

Trump may be unhinged, but not because of the bad boogie

I’m no fan of Donald Trump, but questioning his mental health on the grounds of dancing is a low blow. Kamala Harris threw shade at Trump this week for his “bizarre” dance party moves at a rally in Pennsylvania. On social media, Harris wrote “Hope he’s OK”, alongside footage of Trump bopping to Y.M.C.A.He’s not a pretty mover, but so what? Was it “unhinged”, as Joe Biden claimed? And if Harris raises concerns about Trump’s mental acuity because he’s jiggling away like an awkward parent next to t...
The Sydney Morning Herald •

We haven’t reinvented the wheel, so why the toilet flusher?

I’m madly waving my hand up and down over a sensor-operated toilet flush panel, which isn’t registering my existence. I switch up the motion, maybe a swipe to the right, Tinder-style? Nothing.Does the job, presses no buttons: an old-fashioned, pull-chain cistern. Credit: Golding/Fairfax MediaAfter a few minutes, my mind goes to dark places: is this a The Sixth Sense scenario where I am (spoiler alert) actually a ghost? I continue my alternating hand gestures like an incompetent clairvoyant, wond...
dailytelegraph •

I 'underparent' - but no need to call the cops, the kids are fine

Don't miss out on the headlines from Parenting. Followed categories will be added to My News.Sometimes, a little voice in my head accuses me of not spending enough time with them: How are they meant to learn and grow? I’m responsible for their development; I can’t just offload the job onto daycares or schools!These are their main 'enriching' activities with me: my kids get dragged around from the post office to the supermarket and maybe the op shop if we’re (both) lucky.I used to feel guilty for...
The Sydney Morning Herald •

I’ve never sent a naked selfie. There’s no shame in a little shame

Yes, I see you looking at me in the change room at the pool, your mammaries doing the cha-cha as you dry what would be your short-and-curlies if you hadn’t lasered them off. I’m so pleased you’re immune to shame while displaying your naked flesh, a relief map of the life your body’s traversed. My five-year-old daughter loudly identifies your “BOOBIES” while I scuttle away behind the closed door of the shower to change awkwardly in a puddle of foot fungus. Each to their own.A change room is one t...
kidspot •

Most dads would die for their kids; so why are they 'idiots' on TV?

He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He was bald and, if I’m honest, pretty lazy and dumb most of the time.He was funny; I’ll give him that, always getting into the most ridiculous situations, like when he got a crayon lodged in his brain.Oh, and he’s American. You might have met him: Homer? Homer Jay Simpson?Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. RELATED: Paul's POV: Coaches, you have one job – and it isn’t to winAussie kids are growing up wit...

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The Sydney Morning Herald •

A Very Hungry Caterpillar costume won’t mean a bookworm

Book Week rolls around again, and with it comes the predictable chorus of strung-out parents who have no time to read books themselves but are tasked with “inspiring a love of literature” in their kids. How? By dressing them up as characters from children’s books. For an entire week! Why? I’ve been a rabid reader my whole life and have not had to don a Thing 1 or a Thing 2 costume. Not even once, not a single try, not a once in the wide open sky!In primary school, I wore colonial garb when we vi...
kidspot •

Please stop whinging about your kids doing Book Week

If you're like me, professional costume design is not your thing, and going to Spotlight is your worst nightmare.But there's other things to loathe apart from the parade and actually finding a book that goes with the random costume your kid has demanded.You know that you’ll be flooded with a deluge of cutesy humble-brag photos on social media (ughhh), so you feel an internalised pressure to perform and compete, most likely coupled with feelings of failure and self-loathing.Want to join the famil...
The Sydney Morning Herald •

Now AI will soften our fury at call centre staff. Let’s rage against this machine

The Japanese company SoftBank is developing an “emotion-cancelling” filter called SoftVoice for call centre workers to screen out the inevitable parade of angry people who have been waiting 2½ hours to speak with a human, just to be told that, while their call is very important, they are unable to help them with their request.“The AI isn’t designed to remove all of the angry notes entirely, but to keep just a slight hint of the frustration so that the call centre responder is still able to get s...
kidspot •

Stop telling your kids being a 'dibber-dobber' is a bad thing

In this book about the episode ‘Swim School’, there’s a lot of talk about ‘dobbing’.As in, ‘don’t be a dobber’ or ‘dobbing doesn’t feel very good.’There’s even a caveat in one part: ‘don’t dob unless someone’s doing something dangerous’ and that seems to be the main message.Hmmm.Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.RELATED: My six-year-old never stops dobbing on people Dobbing, also known as ‘dibber-dobbing’ back in my day, goes by many names: ‘sn...
The Age •

The only life coaches I’d hire are long dead or too busy

I’ve never considered hiring a life coach, but if I did, they wouldn’t be hard to find. It seems you can’t swing a cat without hitting one these days. They’re everywhere, jacked up on positivity and self-love, pimping out their programs. Friends and acquaintances pop out of the woodwork to ask if I’m realising my dreams or want to be part of an “inspiring program” before they even type the words “life coach”. There’s something evangelical about it, which I have the radar for after being raised i
Kidspot •

'No one wants to look like a tighta** over $7.50'

Then, the server rang up the total amount.

“I’m sorry. How much are the babycinos?” I said, trying to remain calm.

I wanted to ask, “How much are marshmallows these days!?” But I bit my tongue.

I could feel myself transforming into an elderly grump who lectures teenagers in cafes: Back in my day, babycinos were free! We literally used the leftover milk from a coffee!

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: Is my pregnant wife trolling
The Age •

What I learnt from watching the Ashley Madison doco with my husband

I’m watching the new Ashley Madison documentary on Netflix with my husband (who was not on the list). We hadn’t yet met when the infamous list of aspiring adulterers was released in 2015, but I remember feeling the weird guilt you feel when a police car is driving behind you, even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Did I sign up to an adultery website and forget about it? No, I didn’t. And as the documentary uncovered, neither did many other women. The “service” was full of fake female profiles w
The Sydney Morning Herald •

There’s a word for this new snowflake version of Scrabble. Do I need to spell it out?

I get it – you’re a Scrabble purist horrified by Mattel’s “unforgivable” update of the game. They’ve released a “dumbed-down” version in which players work collaboratively on a series of challenges rather than compete against each other. “We want to ensure the game continues to be inclusive for all players,” Mattel vice-president Ray Adler said. You’re triggered and must voice your outrage because Scrabble is no mere game; it’s an institution! And institutions must be protected. (Except any that
Kidspot •

I wasn't an alcoholic, but this is how I stopped relying on 'Mummy wine time'

There’s nothing like moving to music with zero self-consciousness. Maybe I’ll swing my arms around my head. Great idea! What if I try break dancing? No worries!

Cut to the present day, where I spend most of the time feeling like I’m failing as a parent, with, until recently, zero free dancing. Instead, I focused on my mum-guilt. I wasn’t present enough. I wasn’t firm enough. I was too firm. My toddler had a meltdown at the shops, and everyone was watching.

Then, so often, 5 pm rolled around, a
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