My Recent Work

We’re becoming dumb and dumber – welcome to the idiocracy

In news that won’t shock anyone who engages with comments on social media or Married at First Sight, human intelligence is declining. The Financial Times reported the downward trend of literacy and numeracy in both kids and adults, as found by the OECD. It appears to be “a broader erosion in human capacity for mental focus and application”, John Burn-Murdoch writes.My mental faculties have been eroded by a diet of clickbait and Instagram reels.Credit: Getty Images/iStockphotoI relate entirely to...

Stairway to hell: How the fitness tracker ruins my life

I’ve never been one for numbers, but since I got a Galaxy Fit for my birthday, I’m obsessed. Why tell you I’m stressed out and sleep poorly when I can show you the cold, hard data that proves my endocrine system is on par with a guinea pig being handled by a sadistic toddler?Am I really that tired unless I have the data to prove it? Credit: Getty ImagesI wake up tired and check my sleep data, which confirms that yes, I should be tired after only five minutes of deep sleep. It’s like checking the...

Snappy dialogue and unlucky-in-love protagonist? It must be chick lit

ROMCOMBest, First and LastAmy MatthewsSimon & Schuster, $32.99Amy Matthew’s Best, First and Last has all the ingredients for a good chick lit: exotic location (Peru), a grieving granny who carries around (and chats to) her dead husband’s ashes, uses the words “sexting” and “catching feeling”, snappy dialogue that would put the Gilmore Girls to shame, and, of course, a smouldering stranger the heroine nicknames “Romeo”.The heroine in question is Heather, a young woman whose grandmother, the urn-c...

Here’s my truth: I’m sick of other people’s ‘truths’

If you’re playing Married at First Sight bingo this year, by which, every time an inane word or phrase is spouted by a participant, such as “gaslighting”, “walls up” or “being on the show for the right reasons”, it’s time to yell, “bingo”.But I’d like to propose a new addition to your bingo card: that zinger, “my truth”. As in, “If you are feeling a certain way about somebody, I feel like it’s better to speak your truth than hold it in,” as participant Rhi said during MAFS’ confessions week, whi...

These three little words solved my son's meltdowns

The lower lip juts out, the fists clench, and the face goes red; your toddler’s about to blow their top.Any parent who’s experienced a meltdown (a total loss of control) knows it’s like a tantrum (general anger that's demand-driven) on steroids. Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. RELATED: Yes. I'm laughing at your kid having a public tantrum Your previously 20kg child suddenly weighs 50kg of kicking muscle as you try to lug them into the car so...

Closing the gender gap’s a real pain. Period

At the chemist the other day, I noticed a large display for Nurofen; a stand packed with painkillers, announcing they are “Committed to closing the gender pain gap”. I paused, wondering what this “pain gap” is. Are they lobbying for men to experience period pain by having their lower torso repeatedly run over by a small tractor once a month? Or do they want men to feel the exquisite agony of labour pains like comedian Jack Whitehall having a TENS machine dialled up to 11 on his mid-section in Fa...

Banning G-strings at public pools is a bummer for some, but it’s the right move

While strolling through sunny markets with my five-year-old daughter last week, we encountered a bare bum. Bare bums aren’t an anomaly in my kids’ lives; quite the opposite. They’re an endless source of fascination, whether it’s your brother’s plump cheeks ripe for whacking, improving your flatuosity or de-panting to run unfettered through a sprinkler. They’re everywhere.But in this case, a woman was wearing a G-string bikini, perusing the homemade candles. “Mummy,” my daughter exclaimed, eyes w...

I need to stop saying this one thing about my parenting

Don't miss out on the headlines from Parenting. Followed categories will be added to My News.But I kept hearing myself say this one thing: “I don’t think I’m a very good Mum.”I was trying to be real about my feelings, but after a while, I started to wonder - how helpful is that kind of talk, anyway?Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. RELATED: ‘I made so many rookie errors when my kids were little’I mean, let’s face it, does anyone actually walk...

No, you can’t have my number. We’re not in a relationship

I’m waiting in line at JB Hi-Fi Albury to buy a cord to connect my phone to the car so we can listen to podcasts on our road trip. “I’ll just grab your phone number so we can send you a digital receipt,” the cashier says. “Um, no thanks,” I say.The cashier looks at me as though I’ve just told her I’m into harpooning whales. Who would turn down a simple opportunity to save the world (and whales) through one less printed receipt?I used to be liberal with handing out my number, like some female Lot...

On our next road trip, Bluey can babysit the kids for the whole 900km

Travelling interstate in a car with small children over the summer holidays is not for the faint-hearted, but some of us rise to the challenge. Sure, you could fly the 90-minute trip in an air-conditioned plane, but who wants to be stuck with a bunch of strangers giving the passive-aggressive stink-eye to your boisterous three-year-old when the open road beckons?Once your kids have the post-Christmas sugar hangover and a supply of cheap, highly flammable toys to occupy them for five minutes, you...

Sex merchants have hijacked Christmas. Does Santa really need to be ‘weirdly hot’?

As Mariah Carey once again defrosts to bring All I Want for Christmas is You into every shopping centre, there’s something else that’s warming up. Netflix is trying to bring sexy back to Christmas with not one but two Hallmark-style films featuring shirtless, buff men, including one snowman and a troupe of strippers. And it hasn’t gone unnoticed: “Holiday fare is headed in a shirtless new direction,” The New York Times said.“Holiday movies are hornier than ever,” Vox exclaimed.The first, pornogr...

Is our language going down the toilet? My word!

I’m no linguistic purist. My brother and I exclaim “YOLO!” (you only live once) to each other, as in, “I backed into our neighbour’s car, and we didn’t realise our insurance had expired, YOLO!” Or: “Modern life is exhausting. My brain feels like a lab rat owned by sadistic scientists with an unhealthy zeal for electricity. YOLO!”Sometimes I’ll add “AF” to the end of a sentence in front of unsuspecting parents, such as, “I’m tired AF.” (The A stands for “as” and, yes, the F stands for what you th...

‘Why should I leave them anything?’ Estranged mom won’t give kids a cent

There’s this woman on TikTok called Doormat Mom, and she’s stirring the pot with some pretty controversial stuff about her estranged kids.


Now, she’s asking if it’s okay to leave them out of her will.
“Should I include, axe, or modify? What’s the deal with ungrateful adult children and inheritances?”


More than 1200 people answered her. Some viewers are like, “Heck yes, cut them out!” while others are saying, “What about the kids’ side of the story?”


A few are even suggesting leaving mon...

At school, they advised me to become a vet. They were so wrong

In year 12, my exasperated careers adviser tried to cobble together ideas for me based on my stated interest, “animals” (because “the Mars vending machine” and “Orlando Bloom” were apparently unhelpful). He suggested I could be a vet.After a dismal work placement emptying bloodied syringes and cleaning up dog poo at a veterinarian clinic, I realised my interest in animals was limited to cat memes and the occasional puppy.A dismal work placement at a veterinarian clinic convinced me that I would...

'I'm a Halloween Prude. Stop scaring my little kids'

Australia has thoroughly embraced Halloween, and there’s no putting that genie back in the bottle.Sure, it’s good for kids to experience fear; it’s fun! Grimm’s Fairy Tales were full of dismemberment and eating of internal organs with all kinds of moral warnings for children, like, ‘Don’t trust the snarling wolf that just ate your grandmother.’These are important life lessons.Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.RELATED: ‘Karen masks for Halloween...

Trump may be unhinged, but not because of the bad boogie

I’m no fan of Donald Trump, but questioning his mental health on the grounds of dancing is a low blow. Kamala Harris threw shade at Trump this week for his “bizarre” dance party moves at a rally in Pennsylvania. On social media, Harris wrote “Hope he’s OK”, alongside footage of Trump bopping to Y.M.C.A.He’s not a pretty mover, but so what? Was it “unhinged”, as Joe Biden claimed? And if Harris raises concerns about Trump’s mental acuity because he’s jiggling away like an awkward parent next to t...

We haven’t reinvented the wheel, so why the toilet flusher?

I’m madly waving my hand up and down over a sensor-operated toilet flush panel, which isn’t registering my existence. I switch up the motion, maybe a swipe to the right, Tinder-style? Nothing.Does the job, presses no buttons: an old-fashioned, pull-chain cistern. Credit: Golding/Fairfax MediaAfter a few minutes, my mind goes to dark places: is this a The Sixth Sense scenario where I am (spoiler alert) actually a ghost? I continue my alternating hand gestures like an incompetent clairvoyant, wond...

I 'underparent' - but no need to call the cops, the kids are fine

Don't miss out on the headlines from Parenting. Followed categories will be added to My News.Sometimes, a little voice in my head accuses me of not spending enough time with them: How are they meant to learn and grow? I’m responsible for their development; I can’t just offload the job onto daycares or schools!These are their main 'enriching' activities with me: my kids get dragged around from the post office to the supermarket and maybe the op shop if we’re (both) lucky.I used to feel guilty for...

I’ve never sent a naked selfie. There’s no shame in a little shame

Yes, I see you looking at me in the change room at the pool, your mammaries doing the cha-cha as you dry what would be your short-and-curlies if you hadn’t lasered them off. I’m so pleased you’re immune to shame while displaying your naked flesh, a relief map of the life your body’s traversed. My five-year-old daughter loudly identifies your “BOOBIES” while I scuttle away behind the closed door of the shower to change awkwardly in a puddle of foot fungus. Each to their own.A change room is one t...

Most dads would die for their kids; so why are they 'idiots' on TV?

He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He was bald and, if I’m honest, pretty lazy and dumb most of the time.He was funny; I’ll give him that, always getting into the most ridiculous situations, like when he got a crayon lodged in his brain.Oh, and he’s American. You might have met him: Homer? Homer Jay Simpson?Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. RELATED: Paul's POV: Coaches, you have one job – and it isn’t to winAussie kids are growing up wit...

Eureka Street

Eureka Street uses the Stripe payment gateway to process payments. The terms and conditions upon which Stripe processes payments and their privacy policy are available here.

Please note: The 40-day free-trial subscription is a limited time offer
and expires 31/3/24. Subscribers will have 40 days of free access to Eureka Street content from the date they subscribe.
You can cancel your subscription within that 40-day period without charge. After the 40-day free trial subs...

A Very Hungry Caterpillar costume won’t mean a bookworm

Book Week rolls around again, and with it comes the predictable chorus of strung-out parents who have no time to read books themselves but are tasked with “inspiring a love of literature” in their kids. How? By dressing them up as characters from children’s books. For an entire week! Why? I’ve been a rabid reader my whole life and have not had to don a Thing 1 or a Thing 2 costume. Not even once, not a single try, not a once in the wide open sky!In primary school, I wore colonial garb when we vi...
Load More